And then a candle I left near the bathroom sink melted dripped a ton of wax into the drain pipe causing the craziest clog ever.
Thanks to these wonderfully informative YouTube Plumber videos the problem was fixed in under an hour:
After doing both of these things I found the wax had solidified in the trap and after some chipping away with a butter knife I dislodged it and the rest of the pipe was clean! I can see how this knowledge is going to come in very handy in the future.
So, thank you, OnceNForAllPlumbing for saving the day!
Also, here's a picture of a giant icicle I took today. Have I ever mentioned that this is a RANDOM blog?